HISTORY

A little about what it is…. David and I have been together for 32 years and counting. Nearly 25 of those years are recorded in marital “bliss”. Like many in long lasting relationships, we have been through just about everything together over the years. Saying we are together all of the time is a ridiculous…

On June 26, 2023, David saw his PCP (Dr. W) because he had been passing blood and had pelvic pain. He had also become intolerant of certain foods which was odd because he has always been able to eat anything. Dr. W. immediately noted how pale he was. Blood work was done and showed David…

June 27, 2023 David went to the local hospital to get blood crossmatch testing for a blood transfusion. This is done to ensure the donated blood is a match for the recipient. All blood has the same parts but not all blood is the same type. People have different types bases on antigens. Antigens trigger…

June 28, 2023 David had a blood transfusion with iron at our local hospital. He received two units of blood and one unit of iron. After the first unit of blood was flowing for around 30 minutes, the nurse started the IV on the iron treatment. The IV was inserted into his left hand. After…

June 29, 2023 David had a CT (COMPUTED TOMOGRAPHY) (CAT scan) with contrast at our local hospital. Dr. W called with the results and explained the scan showed some thickening of the colon wall along with some diverticula. Proctitis was noted. The thickening of the wall can indicate cancer. Dr. W noted that it showed…

July 7, 2023 David had more blood work and then had an appointment with a gastroenterologist (Dr. G). We discussed the abnormal lab results and abdominal pain. He noted from the CT scan mild mural thickening of the rectosigmoid area with distal colonic diverticulosis without the evidence of diverticulitis. According to after visit notes, Dr.…

July 17, 2023 David (and I) suffered through colonoscopy prep. Whew! CLEANED OUT (-d)There are words for this, but not words that I’m really willing to write about this. If you’ve heard stories, they’re most likely true. If they seem a little over the top, there’s a good chance they are not. Let’s just say…

July 18, 2023 We arrived for the colonoscopy at 12:30. They took him back for the procedure at 1:11. They called me to come to recovery at 2:05. David was pale, irritated and in discomfort when I got there (he is a little grumpy coming out of anesthesia) Dr. G stopped by to report he…

July 24, 2023 We met with the colorectal surgeon (Dr. C). He ordered an additional CT scan as well as an MRI. He believes he can safely remove the part of David’s colon that contains the tumor and after a digital exam, (whoa boy!) he was confident there would be room to reattach without needing…

August 8, 2023 David went for a CT and MRI scan. He previously picked up the contrast he had to drink prior to the test and the day of the test. He said the CT went fine and the MRI was extremely loud and annoying despite the earphones they gave him to wear. We were…

August 14, 2023 David had to go over to the hospital to have his blood cross matched for surgery. Since his hemoglobin and iron counts were still low, this was a precaution in case blood was needed during surgery. Because we would need to be at the hospital at 5:30 am the next morning, we…

August 15, 2023 After a long and nearly sleepless night, we arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am. We checked in and sat down to wait. We had already been told that I would not be able to go with him to the prep area, so the waiting room was the last stop for me.…

August 22, 2023 David saw a radiology oncologist (we will call him Dr. Wa since our PCP is also Dr. W).The nurse went over past history and asked many questions and then explained how radiation works. She said it would stop the bleeding David had been experiencing and David was very glad to hear this.…

August 25, 2023 We saw our PCP again. In preparation for the upcoming vist with the medical oncologist, Dr. W. ordered some blood work and prescribed iron supplements since David’s iron is still very low. He wanted to be sure David was not in need of another blood transfusion before that appointment. KINDA-WELL WELLNESS CHECK…

September 6, 2023 David saw the medical oncologist (Dr. B) and his PA-C (C). We discussed history with C before seeing the doctor. Dr. B explained the process and confirmed any of the same things we had heard during previous visits with the other doctors. He explained TNT (Total neoadjuvant therapy) and he said he…

September 12, 2023 Dr. Wa’s office scheduled an appointment for a diagnostic appointment on 9/20/23. This appointment will get David ready to start radiation therapy. We also got work from CVS Specialty pharmacy that the insurance approved the chemo drug and we would need to set up a shipment to receive the medicine. ANTICIPATION? (-d)…

September 20, 2023 David went to Dr. Wa today for a diagnostic test that targets the area for radiation therapy. Radiation is set to begin on September 27. He will have a total of 25 treatments once per day Monday-Friday for five weeks. Along with the radiation, he will take oral chemotherapy Xelota (Capecitabine) twice…

September 22, 2023 Pet Scan After work on Thursday, we went up to Atlanta to stay close to the imaging center so we wouldn’t have the stress of getting up so early and then fighting ATL traffic. On Friday, we arrived at the Piedmont Atlanta Imaging Center at 7:45. They called him back around 8:05…

September 28, 2023 David reported to the hospital to undergo the procedure to implant a port in his chest. The procedure went fine and David was ready to go home shortly after lunch. PORTAL (-d) In hindsight, albeit unbeknown to me at the time, watching the first DUNE movie about a month or so prior…

September 29, 2023 David had a patient education appointment that provided lots of information and what to expect with chemotherapy. It was a lot of information to absorb and we have a ton of reading to do. A LOT OF A LOT(-d) One day you get a port, the next day you get a couple…

October 2, 2023. David began a 4 course FULFURINOX Chemotherapy. His labs were good and he was cleared to start. We reported to the treatment infusion room at Piedmont Cancer Institute following an appointment with Dr. B. The nurse assigned to David was so nice and explained everything we could expect. We were there for…

October 11, 2023 David was referred to a surgical oncologist at Piedmont Atlanta. Dr. N and his PA were both very personable and took plenty of time discussing options and answering our questions prior to sending David over for his MRI scan on his liver. Dr. N told us to go to the scan and…

David had chemo on October 16th & 30th  and November 13th. On the November 13th chemo appt, the PA told us that he was scheduling additional chemo appointments “just in case” they were needed. If the scans returned something unexpected, we would not have to wait to be scheduled again and go just resume chemo.…

December 6, 2023 David had two MRIs at Piedmont Atlanta. He was in the machine for 2 hours and 45 minutes. He said it was very long and very exhausting. This was David’s first rectal MRI scan so that was a treat for him. He said at one point he was in just his t-shirt,…

December 8, 2023 David had a scheduled appointment to meet with Dr. B to discuss the rectal scan part of the MRI. On the way to the appointment, David received a call from Dr. N saying surgery had been cancelled. He explained the surgical board was concerned about a new uptake (spot on the liver)…

December 22, 2023 Another chemo day. We saw the PA for this visit and labs. We really like seeing the PA just as much as Dr. B. He is so patient. He listens and answers every question we have even when he has other patients to see. Really, everyone in the office is good to…

January 5, 2024 New year. Same Cancer. Back at Chemo today. We were not in the mood to do this today. We grumbled all morning. I think sometimes we just want to be angry and sad and irritated and maybe this was one of those days. Nonetheless, we decided to practice some gratitude during the…

I caught a wave tonight that I couldn’t handle, and it took me under. Since this started, I find myself being angry much of the time. Thinking about unfairness and why David. Why us? Why now? And just plain why? It isn’t fair. Such a cliché statement but seems to be my go-to negative, unhelpful…

The Care Bears and I go way back to the 1980s but I never quite mastered both parts of the sharing thing that Share Bear tried to teach. I mean, I shared my toys when I was little, I share my money with people in need, I ALWAYS share any “too brown” french fries with…

January 20, 2024 MRI-Liver About twenty years ago, my first experience with a CT machine was at a trauma center after a motorcycle wreck. Several broken ribs, a collarbone broken lengthways, and a significant amount of morphine later, the only thing I remember is that I sat up too quickly and had a really close-up…

January 23, 2024 Rectal MRI David had the second MRI today. This one lasted around an hour. Results will tell us what effects the most recent rounds of chemo may have had on the tumor. He said he got to wear two gowns for this one. One covered the front end and one covered the…

January 24, 2024 David had an appointment with Dr. N today at Piedmont Atlanta to discuss the liver scan. He confirmed there was indeed a second lesion as he had previously noted with the scan on December 6. Dr. N is ready to proceed with liver surgery and said he would like to get it…

January 26, 2024 We saw Dr. B today. He confirmed what we already read from the scans. The last two rounds of chemo had less effect than we had hoped. Dr. B explained that sometimes refractory disease occurs during chemotherapy when cancer stops responding to treatment. He said this seems to be the case with…

January 27, 2024 CT-Lungs David and I went for his lung CT early this morning. We were thankful that Dr. B’s scheduler was able to get him in so quickly. It was a quick scan without contrast just to check to see if our damnable lurker had creeped its way in there. The lungs are…

January 30, 2024 Today, David saw Dr. Wa to discuss radiation following the liver resection surgery. Personable and enthusiastic as ever, Dr. Wa agreed that we are on the right path. He said once chemotherapy becomes less effective it is a good time to hit the cancer with a new modality. The rationale being it…

February 1, 2024 We are back in Atlanta today for pre-op. I spent last night packing bags and unpacking bags not knowing what to bring. I used different bags for his things he would need in the hospital room. Things I would need to stay with me all of the time. Things that would stay…

February 2, 2024 Surgery Day Morning We slept pretty well considering. We were up before the chickens around 3:30 am to shower and head down to the hospital. When I got out of the shower, he was sitting on the little couch dressed. I said “going someplace” since he had not showered yet. And he…

Surgery Day-8:56 am I got a text saying, “patient is doing well”. Surgery began around 8:07. It is expected to last around 3 hours. His gallbladder will be removed because it sits in the way of the liver plus, he had some stones in there, so we will be less one gallbladder and hopefully rooting…

February 2, 2024 Surgery-10:30 Dr. N came out and sat down next to me. I am sitting right at the door where the surgeons leave. My first thought when I saw him out of the corner of my eye was it is too early. It wasn’t. He is just good. David was still getting finished…

Post op-11:24

Post-Op Recovery-12:00 pm Nurse Brittany called to say David was doing ok and relaxing. She said he told her he just “felt a little sore”. I advised her of his self proclaimed fantastic humor. She said mmm-hmmm. She said she requested a room and would let me know once she had a room number. Also,…

How many years have passed since 3:30 this morning and is it time for dinner yet? Why does this hospital look like an airport? What are the people in scrubs sitting around talking about? What day is it? If I get up to go to the restroom now, is that when they will call from…

Finally had to get up before my water broke. Packed up my stuff. Got my well organized bag together and headed to the restroom. Nurse called. She said in this order and I quote… Hi. This is Nurse D and I am taking care of David. He told me right away how to say your…

February 2, 2024 After surgery-afternoon/evening Where did we leave off? Oh yes…me having to pee. So, the recovery nurse called to let me know the room number and what I heard was “5 South 81”. I said can you repeat that please? And sure enough, she said 5 South 81. Clearly confused, I asked “and…

February 3, 2023 Day 1 After Surgery (A.S.) If you have ever stayed at a hospital resort with a loved one well you already know how the night went. What kind of Valerian Steel are the hinges on the doors to hospital rooms made of in order for them to be opened so many gigajillions…

February 4, 2024 Day 2 A.S. – 6:30 am Lights in the room won’t go off completely due to some issues with the switch. So, we have been “sleeping” like the sun was on. So last night we got them down to just the over the bed indirect ones. I had a bright idea and…

February 3, 2024 Day 2 A.S. – Evening We had not slept well the night of surgery, so I went over to the hotel late morning and slept for about an hour while David tried to snooze back at the 581. The silence back at the hotel was so nice. I snuggled down into bed…

February 4, 2024 David and I did some more walking around the halls this morning and noticed these 10 ft markers on the the baseboards. We guessed they had something to do with measuring how far someone walked, but I wanted to know for sure so we asked. Yes, they use the markers to know…

Day 3 A.S. February 5, 2024 Right off, very early this morning, we started hearing chatter that we might get to leave. How is it that everyone in the hospital knows before the patient? Even the housekeeper said she thought we were leaving. Of course from my experience, the housekeepers know everything that goes on…

This is a large hospital in the middle of downtown Atlanta. It is the oldest hospital in Atlanta. I took some pictures when I walked down to grab dinner one night. Older parts of the hospital are still there but cradled by newer additions so it is hard to see the true size of the…

February 7, 2024 David said he felt pretty ok today. He slept most of the night. He had some initial trouble getting on and off the couch this morning but he figured it out. Remembering he can’t bend down to pet one of the cats or grab something from the floor is aggravating. Remembering when…

February 8 & 9, 2024 On 2/8 we saw Dr. B the Med Onc. We discussed the best time to begin the radiation/chemo treatments. Because chemo can stop the healing process, it was decided by Dr. B and Dr. N, that radiation and oral chemo should wait until 2/19 to give David’s liver a bit…

February 13, 2023 David saw Dr. N today for his post-op follow-up appointment. Dr. N said the incision looked good and was healing nicely. He told David it would be healed up just in time for bikini season. He advised keeping it out of the sun for about a year due to hyperpigmentation. David’s pain…

Since we got home from the hospital, David has been walking up and down the driveway throughout the day to keep moving and keep potential blood clots at bay. He is eating when he doesn’t feel like it. He is doing breathing exercises when he doesn’t feel like it. He goes to doctor visits when…

I started and stopped this entry so many times due to the humor. Some days I can find the humor in everything and other days, I just feel so defeated and sad. Sad isn’t a big enough word but that is all I have at this moment. Or maybe bigger than sad is what I…

It’s been awhile since I could and felt like writing. First things first I’d like to thank the countless people who have helped out since this began and especially over the last month or so. Everything from thoughts and prayers to donations to unexpected kindnesses and efforts too many to list. Each and every one…

February 29, 2024 David had another PET scan today at Piedmont Atlanta Imaging. When we last saw Dr. N for the post op checkup on February 13, we received the pathology on the two tumors that were removed from David’s liver. The path showed that the tumors had neuroendocrine features. This news was concerning because…

Pinned Post My favorite color is dark blue and the ribbon for colorectal cancer is dark blue as well.  March is my birthday month (St. Patrick’s Day) and March is also Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. So, this seems like a really good time to remind everyone to remind themselves and/or anyone around them to be…

I saw this today and thought it was so very accurate for any cancer patient and those who love and fight right along beside them. Here’s to all of us….

March 4, 2024 Day 11 of Radiation Camp and Mondays are see-the-doctor-day. Since Dr. Wa was out of the office, we saw Dr. G. He checked in with David about symptoms he is experiencing including urinary issues and increased pain. He prescribed some new meds that we hope will help. Inflammation is expected as the…

Week 3 of radiation starts today. I’m inside the non-exact windows of time they give you for the side effects to start (8 treatments, two weeks, two and a half weeks…). So basically, I just add that to the side effects of the various pills I take on radiation days (12 ea.), to having cancer…

Not the usual long term or even short-term uncertainty that comes with cancer. I think people are generally familiar with those.  There’s always another test and result to be scheduled and discussed.  This is more like day-to-day uncertainty. Where is this pain coming from? Is it a side effect of treatment or a direct result…

March 11, 2024 Week 4 of radiation and it is Monday again, so we saw Dr. Wa after treatment for a weekly check-in. We discussed David’s pain level and the upcoming in office cone down scan for the radiation boost he will have during week six. Sometimes, a patient that meets certain criteria (age, margin…

March 13, 2024 Today we saw Dr. B for labs and an appointment. Both PAs were out of the office so Dr. B was left on his own and was running behind thanks to the schedulers who he said had no mercy on him. We spent a while in the office waiting so David regaled…

March 15, 2024 After treatment this morning, David had the cone down scan to prepare for the radiation boost that will start on Monday 3/25. He said it was similar to the first planning scan he had when he was getting set up to receive radiation. This cone down scan and probe inserted into his…

March 17, 2024 Today is David’s birthday. He was born on a mild March Monday on St. Patrick’s Day in 1975, and while there doesn’t seem to be any ancient Celtic or Gaelic legends about St. Patrick’s Day babies being born lucky, I consider it to be a pretty lucky day for me. Last night…

March 18, 2024 4 weeks down. 2 weeks to go. Another Monday another start of a week of radiation. We saw Dr. Wa today. David told him he didn’t feel very well this past weekend. He was also experiencing a good bit of pain this morning and was restless and uncomfortable riding to radiation. Dr.…

March 22, 2024 Cancer has taken a lot from me. It feels cliche even to write but it’s true, it has. From the beginning, it slowly pushed on the brakes of my life. Sometimes things changed quickly, other times things just slowly glided to a stop. At first it was hard to even tell. There…

One of our very good friends wanted to hold a fundraiser raffle for David and asked me about it. We were touched she wanted to do this but also apprehensive for it to sound as if we were begging for money. We are weird like that. We decided in the same vein as letting people…

March 25, 2024 Boy were glad to see the start of the final week of radiation. We got to the office and noticed more people in the waiting room than usual. We waited a bit and then one of the techs came out to tell everyone that the radiotherapy machine was down. They were waiting…

March 28, 2024 Last day of radiation. David had his final treatment, and we also got to see the doctor for discharge from treatment. Dr. Wa was not in so we saw Dr. G. He said there was a 4 week follow up appointment just to come back and check in to be sure things…

April 2, 2024 David had an oncology appointment today with Dr. B. He had labs done and numbers look pretty much the same as they have been. His CEA was down to 5.9. Not very reliable in his particular case but still lower than it was, so we will take it as a good sign.…

April 4, 2023 David had a CT scan today to check on the fluid around his liver that showed on the last scan. This scan was ordered by Dr. N so it was scheduled at Piedmont Atlanta. If the fluid around his liver was still collecting then Dr. N may need to go back and…

April 17, 2024 First, a big thank you to the anonymous person(s) who sent a package of stress balls and a pound of Atomic Fireballs from Amazon. I like the variety of stress balls and have put them to good use, and I’ve had to limit myself to 2 fireballs each time, so I don’t…

April 26, 2024 It sounds greedy and ungrateful, but a month hasn’t been enough time for me to clear my brain. Having no appointments has been nice, but I have had some on and off pain lately.  Mostly though, it’s just hard for me to put all this out of my head reliably. It’s the…

April 30, 2024 We saw Dr. Wa today for a 4 week follow up visit after radiation. Dr. Wa was very encouraging regarding the CT abdominal scan on April 2. He showed us a side-by-side comparison of the tumor and we could see the shrinkage cause by the radiation treatments. Dr. Wa suggested we proceed…

May 1, 2024 We went over to Piedmont Fayette today for a rectal and abdominal (liver) MRI. The imaging office called this morning to say they would need to combine the two separate appointments into one scan because he would not be able to receive the contrast twice. David and I have both tried to…

May 2, 2024 We got up and felt like we were just moving through Jello to head over for the appointment with Dr. C to discuss the surgery we have wanted for so long and now expected to be off the table. We enjoy seeing Dr. C. He is very patient and kind and has…

May 6, 2024 David and I have had a weekend of sadness. We tried to stay busy with things around the house but the reality of the scan last week is hard to cope with. It is forefront in everything. I decided to take the whole day off not knowing what information we may receive…

May 8, 2024 We had planned to make our annual beach visit in the next two weeks but after seeing Dr. B on Monday, we decided to move up the trip while we were waiting on an appointment. We always look forward to visiting the beach. We have always had to work in our away…

May 9, 2024 So David and I took off on our PCB road trip today and didn’t look back…well I did when I backed up. SL had finals and wasn’t really feeling like making the trip with the dorky parents this time, so David and I decided to leave earlier than we planned. Thanks to…

May 16, 2024 We met Dr. K and his PA today. Both were very likeable. Dr. K explained two options to attempt to manage the disease in David’s liver. Like we read previously, one option is a guided ablation and the other is Y-90 radioembolization. He explained that the ablation would involve deep sedation and…

May 31, 2024 David had a PET scan today at Piedmont Imaging in Atlanta. He was called back and given the Dotatate tracer just as he was for the PET in February.  He went into the little room to wait an hour before the scan. I waited in the little area outside of the door…

June 12, 2024 We had to be at Piedmont Newnan this morning at 6:30 am for David’s Liver Ablation procedure at 8 am. They let me wait with him in pre-op until they came to take him at 8:30. We were both a little nervous but not as much as we were for the liver…

June 14, 2024 David saw Dr. B today for blood work and discussion regarding the recent PET scan results. They flushed his port while we were there also. The longer the port goes without use, the harder it seems to get a blood return. It took a little bit but the nurse got it going.…

June 19, 2024 We rolled up to the stop light on the square in Zebulon heading to Piedmont Atlanta this morning. There were cars in front, behind and to the left of us. We were in the right lane and the light changed. Cars started to roll forward and the lady to the left of…

The CT scan Dr. K ordered for David’s liver was already scheduled and Dr. N’s office called and spoke to the Imaging department at the hospital to try to get a lung scan done at the same time. They said it would not be possible, so we have scans on back to back days. July…

July 10, 2024 We went to sleep last night with extreme scanxiety and woke up with the same. So much so, I asked for thoughts and prayers for David on FB this morning of all things. I NEVER do things like that but woke up with it on my heart. Literally, the first thought I…

July 17, 2024 Dr. N called David today and explained that the tumor board did not recommend additional liver surgery. He said they looked at the scans and recommended going back to chemo and looking at clinical trials. We never expected surgery was an option until Dr. N wanted to present the case again, so…

July 25, 2024 I’ve started writing this entry at least a of couple times and started it in my head a lot more times than that. Over the last few months there has usually been a reason why I haven’t wanted to stop and go back over what’s happened.  In May, I wanted to just…

July 26, 2024 We saw Dr. B today. David is up 7 pounds from the last visit and we joked that he could stop eating for two now with surgery off the table. He always wants to be at fighting weight if surgery is a possibility. His appetite has been pretty good of late. He…

August 9, 2024 David had a video visit with Dr. J, Palliative Care (Supportive Medicine) physician this afternoon. Dr. B referred us to him after we asked if such a visit would be beneficial. Dr. J is based in Atlanta and is open to video visits as often as possible. He was already familiar with…

August 12, 2024 We were at Piedmont Fayette this morning for the y90 mapping procedure.  We had planned to have some ablation but Dr. B wanted to wait before having another procedure until the PET scan on Friday. We got to the hospital at 6:30 and they got David all settled into the interventional radiology…

August 13, 2024 We left a message on Monday with Dr. J’s office as he asked reminding him to call Dr. B about the pain medication change and did not receive a call back.  I called Dr. B’s office on Tuesday afternoon to see if the two doctors had spoken. The nurse was unaware of…

August 14, 2023 We headed over the Fayetteville early to get the prescription. David did not feel like riding but he felt bad about my going over by myself, so he decided to go with me. He slept most of the way there. I went up to the 4th floor and got the prescription while…

August 15, 2024 David has a PET scan at 7:45 on Friday morning at Piedmont West in Atlanta, David wanted to stay in Atlanta tonight so we wouldn’t have to be up so early and get caught in Atlanta traffic on the way. This afternoon, Dr. B’s office called and said there was a cancellation…

August 16, 2024 We are so tired right now and David is asleep in his favorite spot on the couch. I decided to update the blog journal while it was still fresh and I was still processing it and I wouldn’t have to bring it back to mind in a few days when I get…

August 19, 2024 We saw Dr. B this morning. He walked in asking why David did not have an appointment yet for the y90 procedure and wondered what the hold up was on Dr. K’s end. David told him he had the mapping done the previous Monday so Dr. B said he would call Dr.…

August, 20, 2024 It has been 4 months since David finished radiation and it was time for a follow up visit with Dr. W this morning. He was very glad to see David and commented that he thought he looked really good. He said he had followed the progress and was interested that he was…

August 26, 2024 David’s Y90 procedure was scheduled for 11am this morning, so we had to be at Piedmont Fayette at 9am. David was in a good bit of discomfort during the night and was quite restless so neither of us slept very well. We got checked in and it didn’t take long to be…

September 7, 2024 We are 12 days post Y90 procedure. A few days after the procedure, David ran a bit of a fever (99-101.7). It never got over 101.7 and didn’t stay at that level for long. He has experienced some off and on pain around his liver area but with the extended release pain…

September 9, 2024 Today we went to Atlanta to meet Dr. J, the supportive medicine doctor, in person. He explained that when prescribing opioids, the doctor is required to see the patient regularly and in person throughout the usage to verify the patient is tolerating the drugs well and the dependency has not become an…

On the way to David’s appointment today, he got a call regarding the next part of the Y90 procedure. He is scheduled for Monday, 9/30. We will be back at Piedmont Fayette at 7am. This part of the procedure will treat the right lobe of David’s liver. It is the biggest portion to treat, and…

September 19-23, 2024 On 9/18, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. This past weekend, we went up to Blue Ridge for a few days. David has continued to be very tired and unable to do very much. The 3 hour ride was ok and he slept most of the way once we got out of…

September 24, 2023 We saw Dr. W this morning, and we mentioned the paleness and the other symptoms. He agreed he was pale and his heart rate was elevated in the office. His temp was normal. Chest and lungs sounded clear. Dr. W worried about his RDC, iron, and hemoglobin levels, and I told him…

September 25, 2024 I checked in with Dr. W’s office around 11am this morning to see if there was news on an iron infusion. A nurse called back to say he had been working on the insurance since 8am this morning and told them it needed to happen before 2pm today. We got a call…

September 26, 2024 David had an early oncology appointment this morning with one of Dr. B’s NPs. This was the first time meeting her and she quickly caught up to recent events. We brought along the labs from Tuesday, and she made copies to share with Dr. B. She examined David a bit and we…

September 29, 2024 This made David happy. That is all. It was worth its own post.

September 30, 2024 We made it through Hurricane Helene unscathed but our Georgia neighbors to the south and east of us and some of the Tennessee and North Carolina mountain areas were not so fortunate. It has been distressing seeing the displaced people, animals, loss of life and livelihood, and especially the ones that have…

David received a call from Piedmont saying the CT scan on his liver will be on 11/20/24. This scan will determine effects from the Y90 procedure.

October 10, 2024 David saw one of the PAs at Dr. B’s office for his appointment this morning. He had labs as usual and she asked him how he felt he was doing since the Y90 on 9/26. He said he had been tired and experiencing pain in the lower abdominal area as usual. She…

October 24, 2024 The nurse told him he didn’t have to have his port accessed today and could opt for a regular blood draw. He jumped at the chance to skip the port. He is so tired of having it act up and them having to work with it. He was happy to have labs…

October 25, 2024 We had a call this morning to go over the protocol and side effects of the upcoming chemo. Like before, David will receive Dexamethasone and Akyenzeo prior to each chemo IV in an effort to minimize the nausea and other side effects. He will also take the Dex for three days following…

October 28, 2024 We drove over to Fayetteville around lunch to make his 1:00 therapy appointment. It was cloudy and overcast and we felt the same. We did enjoy the changing color of the leaves along the way though. The colors are really starting to pop out now. We got a nice nurse who explained…

October 29, 2024 David got up feeling pretty good today. Remembering back to last year (by looking through my journals), chemo days were some of his best days. It is the recovery weeks that weren’t so nice. He said he slept all night and remembered having funny dreams but couldn’t remember what they were about.…

October 30, 2024 David felt ok today but not quite as good as yesterday. He had some pain that he wasn’t sure was gas or regular pain, and we both seemed to be moving through Jello trying to get out the door. We had a good drive over though and saw a truck with a…

November 2, 2024 David got up this morning with a temp of 101.7. I gave him some rapid release Tylenol and he took all his other morning meds. Knowing we are supposed to call the oncologist’s office for temps over 100.5, we wanted to see if the Tylenol helped get it down before we called.…

November 3, 2024 David woke me up at 1am this morning and said he was sweating. His tshirt was soaked around the neck. I took his temp and it was 101.5. He took some Tylenol and went back to sleep. I stayed awake for an hour, so I could take it again to be sure…

November 4, 2024 I just keep getting more anxious and worried about we are supposed to do with these temp spikes, so I messaged Dr. B today via the patient portal to update him on the weekend developments. I uploaded all labs, scans, notes, etc so he could review. We got a message back saying…

November 6, 2024 This morning’s surprise was David moving slower than usual and almost as if he were in slow motion. I took his BP and it was 94/54 which was very low for him. He could not stay awake, and even as I was taking his BP he fell fast asleep. Still dealing with…

November 9, 2024 We headed over to Fayetteville this afternoon for the oncology labs and appointment. We were scheduled to see the NP today and not Dr. B. When the NP came in, she said David’s hemoglobin was 6.6 and even more alarming was that his WBC was (710) .7 which meant he was neutropenic.…

November 9, 2024 Do you know what they don’t cover in patient chemo education? ANY OF THIS! It did not get better this morning after I had been awake for nearly 28 hours. Sure it was the stress and anxiety of all of this serious stuff plus hormonal stuff and just not wanting to be…

November 10, 2024 We slept much better last night because the nurse and tech didn’t have to come in as much and because we basically passed out from extreme exhaustion. We got up every two hours for David to pee but we both went right back to sleep after. I alternated “sleeping” between the little…

November 11, 2024 Looking out through the glass separating us from our home planet, there is much unusual life on this planetary dimension called hospital. Beings seem to come and go freely while we two continue to be mired in a space time continuum of tests and antibiotics and repeating information to different doctors over…

After some sort of confusion about who was going to discharge and then not receiving the discharge order from the hospitalist before he left and being told we would have to stay, the doctor reached out to David personally by room phone and said he got it handled and we could go. Our day nurse…

David sleeps most of the day and night. We have only had one or two temp spikes and they were low level around 100. He woke up sweating this past Saturday morning while napping and had to change his shirt a few times but his temp was never over 99. He is foggy and has…

November 20, 2024 David had a CT scan of his liver today. We met with Dr. K (Interventional Radiologist) to discuss the outcome of the Y90 treatment. David’s liver is worse. There are more tumors. The Y90 was not effective. There is no further course of IR treatment he can offer since this was not…

Sunday, November 24, 2024 My Dad died today. He was 78 but it was unexpected. I wasn’t ready.  It is an immense loss yet to be quantified.  I am standing on the verge of intense grief but at the same time cancer does not give one damn. Chemo is tomorrow. Early. Grief will have to…

Monday, November 25, 2024 It was a short night. Not much sleep for me, but we got up and got going with some breakfast and a shower to make it to Fayetteville by 9.  David was moving slowly and having trouble walking. He was sort of stumbling along and the tremors were a bit worse…

November 26, 2024 I got up early for a grocery pick up and stopped at the pharmacy to refill my anxiety meds. Those are working overtime today. I also took a ride to the cemetery where my dad will rest once the ashes are returned. I went ahead and put the new Christmas flowers on…

November 27, 2024 Today another day of Etoposide so another short day. We ate our snacks and basically watched the clock tick down before we were back on the way home. The funeral home said Dad was ready to see, so I was going to drop David and home and meet my step mom there.…

November 29, 2024 We had the funeral for my Dad today. David was not feeling up to coming to visitation, but SL brought him in time for the service. It was a nice service as far as funerals go. Lots of people said lots of nice things about my Dad. David was pretty tired so…

December 2, 2024 Between work and playing nurse, I managed to get the Christmas tree up, find out some of the lights were out and string together a few more to make it work another year. I also managed a little decorating but there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything I need…

December 3, 2024 I had asked to speak to one of the dieticians from Piedmont concerning David’s dietary needs since he lost a few pounds between visits. I was able to make contact today and we discussed more protein, high calorie foods, and supplementing. David will need at least 100 g of protein per day…

December 4, 2024 David had a telehealth therapy appointment this morning. He has not been back to in-person since his WBC was so low just as a precaution. He doesn’t like the telehealth as well but he likes not having to ride to the office.   We saw the NP today at Dr. B’s office…

December 5, 2024 We went to URMC today and got the type match done for the blood transfusion. It didn’t take long for registration and to run down to the lab. He got his red wrist band, and we went to Big Chic for a high calorie fry snack and a lemonade. I fell right…

December 6, 2024 We got to URMC right at 7am on this balmy 28 degree morning. Man, it was cold! We went right in to the treatment room and got started with the preliminaries. Guess what? Nurse said right off his hemoglobin was not as low when they did the type match as it was…

December 14, 2024 On Tuesday evening, 12/10, David’s temperature started to spike again. We went back and forth with acetaminophen for a few hours but did not call the oncologist on call. David and I both felt like this was a repeat of what we have been battling for the weeks following the liver Y-90…

We had a scary weekend and a scarier Monday morning. When we got up today, David was disoriented and having trouble getting out his words. He was having trouble holding things like a water bottle or his phone and kept dropping them. He was able to eat and take his meds and I called our…

Dr. W came in this evening to say David’s WBC was elevated much more so that the “normal” it was on Friday at Dr. B’s office. This could indicate infection. He ammonia level was elevated. This could indicate infection. His hemoglobin was 7 and his iron is low. Neither of us have received the scan…

About 20 minutes later David had soaked his sheets, pillow and hospital gown with sweat, left a rather noxious stool sample in the bathroom, and had one of his IVs blow out. He also started on the first unit of blood around 12:55am. And oddly enough, he started speaking plainly out of the clear blue…

December 18, 2024 I am not lying when I say I have no idea what day it is. Honestly. I just had to look at the calendar and still had to think to figure it out. David’s WBC is up for the third day in a row and we are still chasing this infection and…

Some December 18, 2024 and every early morning minute of December 19, 2024 We managed that shower but not in that fun couple way because that doesn’t exist anymore. Cancer takes everything. I say “we” because I looked as though I dove in head first clothes and all. I was able to go home for…

December 19, 20024 David slept most of the day but he did have a little bit of confusion and agitation today. His ammonia level is high and that can cause a number of things to happen including hepatic encephalopathy which would explain the confusion in his brain. While his liver numbers are not bad, his…

December 20th ish 2024 Been up since Monday morning. Will have to update later tonight. No more steam left in the tank. The needle on the gauge broke off three days ago.

From 12/20 to 12/24, David’s WBC continued to rise with one day seeing it decrease only slightly. His feet and legs continued to swell and Lasix and Aldactone were added to the broad spectrum antibiotics he was receiving. Dsvid continured to eat although he had no appetite and we walked around the halls as much…

December 29, 2024 We saw numerous doctors and consultants and heads of departments. David was poked and prodded and drained and filled with fluids. We survived may sleepless nights and days. Three Emory oncologists reviewed his entire record including digging into the initial and subsequent genetic testing. David’s liver is failing with “enumerable tumors”. I…

December 30, 2024-January 1, 2025 The start of the week found David struggling a little to speak. He was sleepy and it was difficult for him to stay awake. On Monday, he ate a really good breakfast although he had some trouble holding the fork and the cup. He was able to tell me what…

January 2, 2025 The first dose of morphine and Ativan was given, and after an hour, it was clear it had not had much effect. JP arrived and another dose was given. We watched him closely for another hour while the grunting and discomfort and pain continued. JP took a long look at me like…

Mr. William David Gassett age 49, passed away on January 3, 2025, at his residence.  Memorial services for Mr. Gassett will be held on Tuesday, January 7, 2025, at 2:00 PM, in the chapel of Fletcher-Day Funeral Home. Rev. Ted Kandler will officiate. The family will receive friends on Tuesday from 1:00 PM until the…

January 7, 2025 Well David, even cheering from heaven, you and the big guy couldn’t make them Falcons win on Sunday. But it was at least close and as you have said for the past seven years since we last had a playoff shot, there is always next year. I bet you didn’t know that…

January 9, 2024 Signs are everywhere telling us where to go or what not to do. People say there are also signs sent to us from loved ones that have transitioned to that other plane. Some say God sends signs and they are called God Winks. I Googled exactly what that meant and found God…

January 9, 2025 What do I do when I have a gazillion things I want and need to tell David all throughout the day because that is what we did. We talked about everything and nothing. All day long. What do I do when I miss him so much, I find it difficult to breathe…

January 10, 2025 Whenever I asked David for advice or I was in the throws of some hand wringing situation, he always said “just concentrate on doing the next right thing and that is the only thing you have to do right now” This concept comes from psychiatrist Carl Yung and was adopted by the…

Nights are long and difficult. Nights are when time hangs heavy. I used to live for getting on my pjs and jumping into bed between the cool sheets and warm blanket and snuggling up next to David whether he came to bed right away or later. Fans on for noise and lights off for darkness.…

Nobody told me grief would feel so much like fear. – A Grief Observed C.S.Lewis

January 12, 2025 (I had no idea what day of the week it was) Showered and brushed my teeth Put on clean clothes Washed a load of laundry. Folding it will be another day. Fed the outside birds and watched them eat. Talked to a friend about difficult things. Made it back to bed before…

January 14, 2025 Dear David, My writing is helpful to me, but it seems to be upsetting people who are able to read it. I don’t think people are comfortable with raw emotions. I write what I feel. I had hoped by continuing it may help people. You know I am not good with vulnerability,…

January 15, 2025 Today the tub faucet started to leak. The cold side it seemed. You taught me how to do this before and after the diagnosis. I didn’t want to know how or think about ever having to do these kinds of things myself. I decided to fix it tomorrow and let it drip.…

January 17-19, 2025 SL, Adam and I decided to take a quick trip up the cabin in Blue Ridge where David and I spent so many wonderful days and made the sweetest memories doing everything from exploring the towns, light hiking, grilling out, making fires in the fireplace, looking for bears, watching the stars, entertaining…

January 21, 2025 Sometimes I have ideas about things to write about and other times I just sit down and start pecking out words in no order just because the silence here is deafening now. Just putting all the thoughts on the page in hopes of lessening the chaotic nature of them bouncing off of…