May 1, 2024
We went over to Piedmont Fayette today for a rectal and abdominal (liver) MRI. The imaging office called this morning to say they would need to combine the two separate appointments into one scan because he would not be able to receive the contrast twice. David and I have both tried to be positive about this scan and our greatest hope was that everything would work out to proceed with surgery soon. Once we arrived, they called David back quickly. There were not many people waiting, so I was able to choose a seat over in a corner, away from anyone, to do some work while I waited. It wasn’t long before someone came and sat down two chairs away from me. This was a bit irritating since there was actually only one other person in the waiting room and empty seats all over the place. I never understand why people choose to sit so closely to someone else when they don’t have to. I was already anxious, and this dude made it worse with his constant fidgeting and sighing and then his stretching out in the chair with his feet on the column wall in front of him. Who does that? I couldn’t really see through my agitation at the time, but thinking on it since, maybe this person was nervous about a scan too and just wanted to sit near someone. Or maybe he was just oblivious and wanted to rest his feet on the wall. Or maybe it was to distract me from my own disquiet. Weird how people are put in our path and sometimes we never know why. Anyway, the MRI took around and hour and a half and then David and I were on our way again. We decided to stop and grab some dinner before heading back home. Just as our food came to the table, David got a notification that the radiologist’s reports from the scans were ready. We were both anxious and said we would eat first and then read them when we got in the car. After we both sort of just sat there playing with our food, I asked him if he wanted to go ahead and read the reports. He said no we would wait. Then he said well, I don’t know maybe and what did I want to do? So, I took out my phone and said let’s just do it because it was going to be ok. I really believed that. So, we decided to go ahead. We always read his scans together.
First the colorectal scan…
Findings suggest partial response to therapy. Decreased size and bulk of the high rectal tumor. Residual invasion of the peritoneal reflection. There is tethering of the posterior bladder wall without residual intervening fat plane. This may be treatment related. Early bladder wall invasion is difficult to entirely exclude. Improving perirectal lymphadenopathy
In short, the tumor shrunk as did the lymph nodes near the tumor which is good and what we wanted in order for surgery to be attainable. The attachment issue is still there but hard to determine the extent. We knew this based on the twisting pain David continues to feel where we believe the attachment to the peritoneum is.
Now the liver scan…
Worsening metastatic liver disease. There are multiple (approximately 10) suspicious liver lesions. Largest lesion is in the right liver measuring 2.1 x 1.7 cm. Additional lesion is noted in the right liver measuring 1.2 x 1.5 cm. There is a lesion in the left liver measuring 0.8 x 0.9 cm. SPLEEN: Unremarkable PANCREAS: Unremarkable ADRENAL GLANDS: Unremarkable KIDNEYS: No suspicious renal lesion VESSELS: Unremarkable ABDOMINAL NODES: Unremarkable PERITONEUM/MESENTERY/BOWEL: Unremarkable SOFT TISSUES: Postsurgical changes in the ventral abdomen BONES: No aggressive osseous lesion.
In short, it is a hard gut punch. AGAIN.
We sat at that table stunned. I was unable to stop the tears coming fast. I was unable to stop the horrible thoughts coming even faster. Across the table, David was stoic. The waitress came over to check on the food and we asked for boxes so we could just go. We went to the car and drove home clutching each other’s hands in relatively the same feeling of devastation we felt on July 18, 2023, when we first heard the word CANCER.
