December 8, 2023
David had a scheduled appointment to meet with Dr. B to discuss the rectal scan part of the MRI. On the way to the appointment, David received a call from Dr. N saying surgery had been cancelled. He explained the surgical board was concerned about a new uptake (spot on the liver) and would prefer additional treatment options prior to surgery. We went to the appointment with Dr. B and discussed this latest set back. Dr, B said that looking at the scans, the disease was stable but listening to David describe how some of the symptoms are starting to return leads him to think it is progressing. Dr. B’s thinking at the time was to proceed with additional courses of chemo and then have another MRI in order to determine the effects on David’s liver. He suggested at least two more rounds and starting that day. Dr. B. talked about options ranging from radiation to nuclear treatment. I asked Dr. B how concerned he was about this development. He said he was “moderately concerned”. The CEA tumor marker indicator was down though so we will take that as a small win. We are disappointed and scared and subdued. Cancer sucks and just keeps on sucking.
Normally armed with suitcase full of snacks and beverages and enough to keep three toddlers busy, we went to that 6 hour chemo appointment with nothing to do but sit and try not to feel hopelessly sorry for ourselves while the poison dripped.
Labs: CEA Tumor marker 6.1
RING RING (-d)
Nothing says change of plans like an in-car phone call from your surgeon on the way to your oncologist. Honestly, it’s a little much to comprehend early in the morning riding along a country highway. Simple enough though, no surgery, most likely more chemo, see you in the office after while, thanks and goodbye. Then there’s the sinking in that the second spot along with anything else just upended everything you had mentally prepared for. Immediately after that, there’s some slight relief that for the moment noone will be making a large incision in you which makes you feel a little guilty about feeling good about. Then there’s the flip back to wishing it was going to happen right now anyway just to be done with it. All this bounced around before I could really even process that my treatment had changed again but this time by not actually changing but going back to exactly what I had been doing weeks before. To fully understand this, you’d have to know that over this last bit of time my bleeding had stopped which felt nothing less than miraculous. My chemo symptoms had eased as it was paused for the surgery which meant my lower abdomen was acting just about as normal as it had been in a very long time. However, I was starting to see the slight reemergence of symptoms I had before the chemo and that was causing me some worry and concern. The only thing I knew for sure as the car continued rolling down the road was that none of any of that was going to stay the same over the next few weeks and like it or not I was going to be ok with that. Notes were kinda taken at the oncologist’s office. Topics were mentioned and ideas discussed but I remember not being able to take them all in fully. I remember knowing I was going into chemo again right after that and that I could handle it because I had plenty of practice with it and was again thankful that we were doing something else that day not just being sent home. So I logged what I could in my brain for later and then went about doing what I did for chemo and it all worked out.